Caught my adult PWA Jason on the cell with this morning. Not meaning to eavesdrop but my usual long ears caught the words “credit card” and that’s when Mama Bear put down the broomstick and ask to speak to the caller. As it turns out, someone from Jason’s bank had offered him a credit card and he was now being asked to pick this up on a schedule.
Mama Bear’s instincts heightened at the thought that Baby Bear might have provided personal information and that this might be one of those scams you hear so often nowadays. Politely, I introduced myself and revealed that my son was on the spectrum (I have not done this in such a long time that I even cringed at my awkwardness to say the words). I don’t know if I made any sense at all when I declined the offer of credit card on my son’s behalf; it did seem like the most prudent thing to do at that point in time.
When I reported back to Jason that I declined the credit card offer, he had this look on his face like I violated his privacy and adulthood, all in one sweep. So, before things progress to an uncomfortable situation, we sat down as I explained to him:
“Credit Card” is not an adult privilege. While he knew using a credit card didn’t mean he was not bound to pay a purchase, someone had definitely enticed him to feel entitled to have one. I had to elaborate that using these plastics is such a huge responsibility, even bonafide adults have trouble being consistent of.
“Credit Card” should not be a first option for anything. I went on to remind him that in our family, we either save up or wait up — when we want something. At this point, I dared ask him if there was anything he needed badly that could change the course of our quarantined lives…his answer came in a sweet smile and a hug! I would have been a jerk if I had not seen an unmet need after all these years together.
“Credit Card” complements the lifestyle of the working class. It was a difficult but necessary task to make your adult PWA understand that he needs an income to make credit purchases — because Mama Bear will not pay for items bought on credit.
I know he almost always accepts it, because I say so. But I have no doubt that time will come for him to get himself qualified for a credit card. By then, he will not only have proven himself to be a responsible PWA, but more of regular, hard-working adult.